


We're Scared To Be Lonely

by welloopsies



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Crying, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Getting Together, Love Confessions, M/M, Misunderstandings, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-20
Updated: 2019-05-20
Packaged: 2020-03-08 19:37:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,367
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18901270
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/welloopsies/pseuds/welloopsies
Summary: In which, Kageyama is uncertain about he and Hinata's friendship and then overhears something that he wishes he never heard.Or: Kageyama is angsty and dumb and Hinata is whipped and dumb.





	We're Scared To Be Lonely

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't written in forever and this is my first Haikyuu!! fic. Literally I love this anime and Kageyama Tobio with my heart and soul. This takes place a few weeks after that Kagehina fight in season 2. Also sorry in advance for the excessive italics?? This might be shit, but I still tried??? I hope you guys still like it, and enjoy! <33

* * *

Kageyama was good at pushing people away.

The teen had a barrier that he had created through out his life, taking unspoken time perfecting the strength of his boundaries through glares and gritted teeth.

He ignored many of his mother’s sympathetic looks whenever he would come home and immediately walk up to his room, indulging in his solitude instead of going out with friends or regaling her with happy stories that occurred within school.

It wasn’t anything personal, Kageyama was just aware that people didn’t like him- and that was _fine_. He didn’t really like most people right back. He knew he was crude, he knew he was socially awkward, and he knew he was cold. Playing volleyball was more than enough for him to not feel lonely.

* * *

_“Tobio, sweetie? Your middle school is having a dance? Don’t you think it would be fun to go?” His mother asked, voice hopeful as her son had his head in the fridge, rummaging for milk._

_“No, not really.” He spoke, immediately, finally pulling out the gallon. His mother sighed and smiled softly at him._

_“Why? You could meet some friends and have a good time, you know?” She tried to persuade, but Kageyama’s expression stayed stern as he stared at his mother. She didn’t know that his team had just rejected him openly only a few days prior, leaving him with a scar he would never be able to cover or forget. He stayed silent for a few moments before speaking again._

_“I don’t want friends.” He stated, and finally turned away and walked back up the stairs as he finished pouring his cup and putting the milk back._

_His mother sighed sadly and went back to reading her book. She didn’t believe her son for one moment_.

* * *

To have a short, orange-haired boy completely undo his years of social isolation with little to no effort, _frightened_ Kageyama to no end.

Hinata was stubborn, the type to bash through any obstacle in order to either get his way or prove a miniscule point.

It was _infuriating_.

Cause with most cases of stubbornness, there was always a lack of logic hiding underneath. And of course there was no logic with Hinata, he was a dumbass after all. To come to Karasuno and compete with a functioning team been what both boys have been dreaming of. To compete as allies was what threw them off. But through months of work and toil, Kageyama could say with about 40% certainty that he and Hinata were friends. They ate meat buns together, they walked home after practices together, and occasionally would go over each other’s houses and try to study.

Yet there was part of Kageyama that just couldn’t believe that they were friends. A creeping suspicion, if you will. Like at any minute, Hinata would give a shit eating grin if Kageyama ever asked and tell him,

“ _Bakayama, how could you really think we’re friends? We’re only teammates!_ ”

So, Kageyama never spoke on the matter. Cause, whether he would like to admit it or not, he thought of Hinata as not only a friend, but his _only_ friend. To have that rejection would hurt immensely.

But he was okay with what they had now, being partners through their mutual devotion to both volleyball and winning. Sure they bickered, and Hinata infuriated Kageyama to no end, but the taller boy didn’t want it any other way. He was willing to take anything given to him from Hinata.

He was now currently tying his shoes in the locker room, being the only one in there as everyone had already finished getting ready for afternoon practice.

He was anxious to get out on the court and let out his emotions through his tosses. It was easily one the highlights of his day. As he was just about finished, he flinched to himself hearing some soft chattering through the other side of the door. The previous silence was now being filled with conversation, which wasn’t unusual. It was just conveniently loud enough for him to hear.

“So, Hinata, you and Kageyama seem to be doing much better! I’m really glad you guys are doing well.” The bright voice of Yachi spoke, beaming through the air.

Kageyama’s shoulders sagged a bit, knowing she was referring to their fight that occurred a few weeks ago. It was definitely not one of his best moments, but he was glad it was over. He didn’t like how he was forced back into familiar seclusion in order for the tension to finally dissipate between them.

Hinata chuckled thickly at the response, “Yeah me too, sorry again for scaring you like that.” Embarrassment was evident in his voice.

Kageyama wasn’t sure why he was just sitting in the room, listening to their conversation, but an instinctive feeling was telling him to stay put. So he did.

“Yeah glad you and The King are all _buddy-buddy_ again. Being BFF’s is helping the team since you guys can do your freaky quicks again.” Tsukishima intruded, and Kageyama could practically see the smirk he was wearing without even needing to be there.

Hinata whined loudly at the teasing and Yachi gave a nervous chuckle in reply.

Kageyama was rolling his eyes and at this point he had stood up, about to head out and begin stretching. But he stopped with his hand on the handle of the door the moment Hinata replied.

“P-Please! It’s nothing like that! He’s just my _teammate_ , nothing more, d-dummy!”

Oh?

 _Oh_.

Kageyama swallowed thickly, and he heard Daichi shushing them and telling them not to tease each other, but his voice was garbled and it sounded like he was underwater.

Kageyama’s blood was boiling. He bit his bottom lip, full of rage and hurt. He felt cheated and used. He felt like an idiot. Of _course_ Hianta would only entertain the idea of friendship in order to keep getting tosses, any smart person would. He hung his head and he wanted to bust through the doors and deck the shorter boy square in jaw and demand why they couldn’t be friends.

But he knew fully well why Hinata wouldn’t want to be his friend. Fuck, he knew fully well why _no one_ would want to be friend.

He sighed and swallowed the thick lump in his throat. Even if everyone hated him, he knew he still had volleyball. And that had to be good enough for him because it was all he had left.

* * *

“Stupid Kageyama your tosses are too high!” Hinata complained once more, as another toss was both sloppy and clearly out of character.

Kageyama glared darkly at the other boy. The brown eyed teen flinched at the look. It wasn’t like his usual glares. It a had a shadow of another feeling. Was it hurt?

Hinata wasn’t sure why Kageyama was acting strange, but he didn’t want him to be sad or upset with him. If the spiker was honest, he cared very much for Kageyama. Much more than he thinks is normal. He remembered faintly how he had approached Yamaguchi and Yachi about it, even though now was clearly not the time.

* * *

_“Guys! I just don’t know what to do. I keep staring at him and my heart goes all gwaaaah and whoosh when I see him. I’m afraid he’ll catch on and not want to talk to me anymore. It’s scary.” Hinata complained, as he, Yachi, and Yamaguchi were sitting together for lunch._

_Yachi shot the orange-haired boy a sympathetic smile and patted his shoulder._  
_“Hinata, Kageyama really cares about you! He wouldn’t just stop talking to you-"_

_“So shorty has a crush on The King, huh?”_

_All eyes fell on a smirking Tsukishima, who was reveling in the fact that he had walked up to the group at the perfect time, just long enough to hear Hinata’s current dilemma._

_“Tsukki! It’s none of your concern!” Yamaguchi immediately retaliated, making the blonde boy just give a snicker in reply._

_Hinata threw his head in hands and groaned loudly._

_“Great, now my life is officially over.”_

* * *

He blushed suddenly.

Stupid Tsukishima.

He just _had_ to walk in on their conversation and he just _had_ tease him before practice and make Daichi scold him. And Kageyama just _had_ to be conveniently more crabby than usual for no reason.

The world was out to get him, Hinata was sure of it.

“Then jump higher, dumbass!” Kageyama barked, voice laced with gravel and venom.

He then turned away, cracking his knuckles. Hinata blinked at the sudden outburst and looked at Yamaguchi for any kind of silent insight. But the freckled teen could only shrug, at the same kind of loss as Hinata.

Daichi clasped his hands loudly, desperately trying to get everyone back into practice mode. “Okay, how about we practice some serves instead, yeah? Everyone line up!”

They did, with some groaning and eventually everyone had a ball in their hand, getting ready to practice while Noya and Daichi practiced receiving on the other side of the net.

Kageyama glared daggers at his ball, childishly imagining it was Hinata’s face. His skin was prickling with blistering rage. If there was one thing he hated the most, it was being made to look like a fool. He was stupid to think that Hinata actually liked him. He felt as if he’s been on a prolonged prank, and finally the rug was now being pulled from under him.

“ _We’re fed up with you, you self-serving king!_ ”

The raven-haired boy then gave a loud and almost animalistic noise and served the ball with all of his strength, the object flying way past the out of bounds line, and almost decking their captain in the face.

The team fell silent once the ball hit the ground and gave a few lifeless bounces against the gym floor. All eyes were on him, seeing now he was struggling to breathe.

His face was bright red, his teeth were sinking tightly into his bottom lip, and his eyebrows were scrunched together. His fists were iron tight at his sides, half moons marking his callused palms.

Hinata immediately could see how tormented his crush looked and his heart was twisting at the sight. He rushed over to the taller boy, concern written all over his face.

“Kageyama, what’s wrong? Are you-"

“Don’t **_ever_** speak to me outside of the court again.” Kageyama hissed with the cut of a freshly sharpened knife.

The gym gave a collected gasp at the words, and Hinata flinched at the sudden cruelty.  
The taller teen didn’t wait to see the heartbroken look that the shorter male wore, because just as the words were spoken, he strode out of the gym.

Not a soul uttered a word in his aid.

* * *

His mother wasn’t home as he walked into his house, but he was more than thankful for her absence. He didn’t have the heart to look at her, not with him knowing he had just ruined his chances on yet another team.

He didn’t even bother to change or even kick off his shoes as he picked up one of the many living room couch pillows and smashed his face into it. He sat on the couch and gave guttural scream, muffling the sound as best he could. Thank God the walls of his house were thick, but he didn’t really even care.

He screamed until his throat was raw and bubbling with something sad and wet. He was tired. Tired of people, tired of rejection, tired of being _alone_.

As he cried ugly fat tears on the pillow for who knows how long, he heard rapid knocking and god dammit he was going to slaughter whoever was on the opposite side of the door. It probably was a neighbor, thinking he was either dying or being murdered from his previous screaming.

He lifted his head up from the pillow, giving a pathetic sniff as he tried to clear his clogged nostrils. The loud knocking proceeded and he threw the pillow angrily and stomped over to the door. He whipped open the door, ready to kill.

“Look just go away, I’m-"

“Stupid Bakayama! How could you?!” Hinata cried, throwing Kageyama’s gym bag at said boy with more strength than what was thought.

The setter flinched as he barely caught it and stared at the orange-haired teen like a gaping fish. His brown eyes were red and puffy as his own were and there was an angry, distraught expression painted across his features. Kageyama’s confusion turned to anger in an instant.

“How could _I_? How could _you_? Y-You get a kick out of playing with people’s emotions or something, dumbass?!” He snapped back, making Hinata look at him like he had two heads.

“What in the actual hell are you talking about? Are you an idiot?”

Kageyama wanted to choke the life out of the shorter boy right then and there. He was so stupid that he didn’t even know what he had done wrong. It added some unspoken salt to the wound, in all honesty.

“It doesn’t matter. I told you I don’t want to talk to you, so go away.” Kageyama snapped, getting ready to slam the door shut, but Hinata caught the door in an instant, stopping him in his tracks.

“No! Not until you tell me why! What the heck did I do wrong? Whatever I did I’m sorry, just please don’t hate me!” Hinata cried desperately, fresh tears now running down his cheeks.

The taller male sighed shakily and pulled the boy inside and shut the door. He didn’t want to wake up any neighbors with their bickering. 

Once the door was shut, Kageyama crossed his long arms over his chest and glared down at the spiker. Hinata was openly crying at this point and it made Kageyama even more upset. He was the one that hurt _him_ , not the other way around.

“I-I heard you.” Kageyama finally muttered, quiet enough that Hinata almost didn’t hear him. He gave a watery sniffle and looked at him, still clueless.

“What did I say?” Hinata asked, looking up at his friend. It was like this that the shorter boy could see just how rough Kageyama looked. His dark blue eyes were watery and his face was red and blotchy. An overwhelming feeling of guilt seeped itself deep in his chest. Whatever he had said must have really hurt him. That was unsettling, considering Kageyama never lets himself get hurt so easily. Kageyama broke the gaze between them and he gave a watery sniffle in reply. 

“That we’re not friends. Just ‘teammates.’ Y-You should have just told me up front instead of making me think we were actually friends. But who am I kidding right? ‘ _I’m just scary, stupid Kageyama, he can’t possibly have friends or feelings_.' Ugh! Just fuck off already Hianta and leave me alone.” Kageyama rambled as stern as he could, though his voice still wavered with some water.

Hinata scrunched his eyebrows up at him, calculating when this might have taken place. The day was completely normal besides afternoon practice so… Suddenly, Hinata’s eyes flashed with knowing and Kageyama arched a judging eyebrow down at him.

“You mean when I was talking with with Tsukishima and Yachi at practice?” He clarified, now remembering that teasing smirk the blonde had wore.

God, stupid Tsukishima.

Hinata knew that it wasn’t the right thing to say, but in the moment of having his feelings up for ridicule, it was the first thing he could think of in order to defend himself.

“Yes with Tsukishima, you dumbass! Now go away!” Kageyama snapped, moving to open the door, but Hinata stopped him by suddenly grabbing each side of his face with gentle and soothing hands.

Kageyama stopped dead in tracks and looked down at Hinata with tormented and confused eyes.

“S-Stop fucking with me Hinata, I’m serious-"

“I’m not fucking with you! Just please listen to me! _Please_!” Hinata pleaded, thumb stroking quickly at his cheek.

Kageyama unconsciously leaned into the touch and gave a shaky sigh and a miniscule nod. Hinata almost sobbed with relief at the other teen, as he was finally surrendering in order for him to speak.

“I-I said that cause Tsukishima was teasing me! He knew that you make me go all _gwaah_ and _wham_ when I see you, but he wasn’t supposed to know, ri-right? So, I was scared that you or the other teammates would know so I said that without thinking! I’m sorry, I’m _so_ sorry. You are my best friend and I-I have big fat crush on you and I never meant for you to get hurt, honest.” Hinata rambled, trying his best to show just how serious he was about his feelings.

To think that Kageyama didn’t believe they were friends was disheartening to Hinata. That the setter was that disbelieving in the thought that people liked him. It hurt his heart. The said boy was blinking down at Hinata with a red face, completely at a loss for words.

“Y-You _like_ me? Like, r-romantically?” Kageyama asked, voice soft and oddly vulnerable.

He was trying his best to wrap his head around the fact that he was not only considered a best friend, but a love interest. He couldn’t believe what he was hearing. And he would most definitely be lying if he said it didn’t make his heart warm.

“Of course! I-I _adore_ you. I couldn’t believe you didn’t think I considered you my friend. You’re an idiot.” Hianta scolded, making Kageyama glare down at him, though it didn’t have the heat it normally would have had. It looked more like a pout if anything and Hinata thought it was adorable.

Kageyama then bashfully looked away, but nodded with a small smile creeping on his features. He couldn’t suppress the child-like giddiness, even if he tried.

“I-I like you too, dumbass. Though, I don’t know much about dating or anything like that, so...” He muttered, making Hinata laugh with relief.

The shorter boy then wrapped his arms around Kageyama tightly and nuzzled his head in his chest. The setter stood frozen for a few moments before bringing his shaking arms to try and recuperate the loving gesture.

“I don’t care! I don’t either! We can learn together! Just please don’t ever scare me like that again! Promise?” Hinata rambled, looking up Kageyama with blazing eyes, brown iris’ gleaming with a stern light. Kageyama nodded instantly.

“Y-Yeah. I’m sorry for saying those things to you… Dumbass.” Kageyama replied, face now a beating red at the apology.

God, he knew it was going to be awkward going back to practice tomorrow, but he was going to have to manage. As if Hinata was reading his mind, he nuzzled his chest again and smiled.

“Don’t worry, the team isn’t mad at you. They were concerned if anything.” The spiker spoke, voice reassuring and warm.

Kageyama let out a tight breath and sighed, relaxing in the embrace more, chin resting at the top of his head. His messy, orange locks tickled his skin, but it was soft and it warmed him, like the sun.

Suddenly, Hinata looked up, still in Kageyama’s arms and their eyes were locked together. The shorter male then stood on his tippy toes and met his lips, the kiss short, inexperienced, and light as a feather, but it still made Kageyama’s heart back flip and stutter.

Hinata pulled away, only a few centimeters away, breaths ghosting against their lips. Hinata could count the setter’s eyelashes and see the extent of blue in his eyes.

It made a endearing smile light his features as he kissed him again, now Kageyama immediately wrapping his arms around him tighter. What they lacked in knowledge, they made up for with passion, and this kiss was much more desperate and wet.

The two were mingling together, confirmed partners now both on _and_ off the court.

It was then, with lips pressed heatedly against his, that Kageyama realized that he not only had volleyball to keep him from being lonely, but now he had Hinata.

And it was more than what he could ever have asked for. 

* * *

 


End file.
